I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
