whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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