Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
