You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
My vagina just recognized that song.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
