it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Let's get the cat blown out
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
