i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
