if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize