Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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