official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
