Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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