well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
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