I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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