doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
