And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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