What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
