margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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