She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
