We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
