Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
