I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...