I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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