well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
