found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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