cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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