I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
