that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
