Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
