The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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