I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
