Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
