She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
What drink are we having for lunch?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
