How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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