I must be too annoying 4 u.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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