She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
