I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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