Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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