just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize