I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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