I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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