Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
