Just fell off a train. Bad.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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