i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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