yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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