Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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