Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
