Well douche your snatch and let's go!
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
