My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
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