yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
FUCK WHALES
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