Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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