nut hugger
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
A+ Viking dick
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
