so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
My butt remains clenched, sir.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
