I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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