The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?