ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies