I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
wow bdsm is so cute
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
