ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
