the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
