She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
