I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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