You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
