Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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