Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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