just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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