If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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