oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
