would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
