So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
