nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
oh god the rape fog is back!
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
