I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You've changed since you got that strap on
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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