I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
